Recipe for silly commute

This is a wonderful recipe for a halfbaked idea, using an assortment of ingredients found in the cupboard, requiring only limited local knowledge.

Ingredients

1 single speed bike.

2 x 25mm slick tyres.

1 x rocky and muddy path.

2 x South Wales hills (large).

2.5:1 gear ratio.

Instructions 

1. Leave work with plenty of time and rough sense of direction.

2. Head on familiar path until path becomes not familiar at all. Retrace steps and apply correction several miles later.

3. Head up, keep going, that’s it, You’re nearly there, just over that 20% bit.

4. Yield to screaming calves and walk last 10m.

5. Check whereabouts and time. By this stage, time should be ebbing  away like a ferocious spring tide withdrawing. Take off-road shortcut you know to be unsuitable for slick tyres.

6. Carefully avoid large rocks, high sided berms, deep muddy pools, short steep grassy descents.

7. Reassure passing mountain biker that you are ok.

8. Arrive at top of 2 mile fast and twisty road descent.

9. Whizz gleefully for 4 minutes.

10. Batter yourself along roads to Caerphilly mountain, grind over hill.

11. Heat up brakes on descent until soft and rubbery.

12. Present oneself at door, sprinkled liberally with flies. Hope for best.

On reflection, you might find it easier to consult a map 🙂

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