Country lane, close to Cardiff
It was a lovely ride. Gorgeous in fact. A fresh moderate, sea breeze blowing from the South. The sun casting early morning shadows. I saw small numbers of riders. I recognised a few. After leaving the flats. I headed toward Rudry, the moor and the Col Du Caerphilly. Riding through Draethen I was passed not once, but twice by royalty; it was indeed the King of the Numpties. Lucky me. My thoughts, went something like this:
Thank you squire! There’s nothing like having the serenity of your Sunday morning ride shot to pieces by your boy racer exhaust pipe. A car sounds sooo much better when it sounds like WW1 artillery with ordinance stuck in its throat. Your driving sir, should be held up as a model of how to safely negotiate country lanes. I’m sure the Institute of Advanced motorists* would agree that the way to enter blind bends is to heavily apply the accelerator as you enter the corner, safe in the knowledge that anything coming the other way will have already heard you several miles ago and will therefore be hanging back. After all, losing a second or two for the sake of safety is a fruitless exercise in lost opportunity (just ask any F1 driver and boy, they should know!). I would also like to shake you by the hand for coming so close to my flank, that I could practically slide along the t-cut and turtle wax recently applied to your sensational ‘classic’ BMW. Honestly, that led to a welcome and wonderful surprise! Up to that point my ride was far too dull and really needed the excitement provided by a young man in a giant baseball hat, listening to gangsta rap, hurtling along in a 1981 ’ beamer, treating the lanes of Rudry like a personal skidpan and the rest of the world to a true showcase of brains and talent. Thank you again squire! I doff my cap to you.
I really hope that this young man settles down a bit. It sends shivers down your spine when you think of the potential for disaster. Most of the time the lanes in this area of South Wales are wonderfully quiet. You can ride along National cycle route #4 without a care in the world. In fact, it could be this aspect that led to his ridiculous driving standing out like a sore thumb. For if drivers typically rode in this fashion around these lanes, I’d soon be finding alternative routes (or staying off the roads altogether). On the plus side, I did meet another rider who ‘enjoyed’ the same experience and we had a lovely chat, turning the air blue then reminiscing about times past.. He used to MTB race when I first started. Every cloud eh?
*I absolutely know that anyone reading this from the IAM would choke on their tea and biscuits; they take a first class approach to cycling and motoring safety.